Suffering, defined as ‘the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship,’ is an inevitable part of life. We can never fully prepare for all the challenges we will face, and regardless of the hand we’re dealt, suffering shouldn’t be a secret or a competition. Adversities are often beyond our control, and another person’s suffering, whether similar or different, does not diminish our own.
Pro tip from a wellness coach: Let the tears flow! Crying releases stress hormones and provides additional healing benefits.
Alex, a high performer and strong team member, became overwhelmed when our department underwent major restructuring. Accustomed to consistency and confidence within their previous role, they struggled with the new demands. Their performance slipped, and they couldn’t stop thinking about work even after they went home for the day. The anxiety consumed them. As one of Alex’s previous managers, I wanted to offer support and resources during the transition.
Workplace wellness is a highly discussed topic these days, yet practical advice on managing and enduring suffering remains scarce. Whether it’s a shift in company strategy, the introduction of new technologies, or restructuring within teams, change can bring about a significant amount of stress and discomfort.
We all have the power to control our response to suffering by adopting healthy coping strategies. (Spoiler alert! Avoiding suffering is not healthy.) If you find yourself in a similar situation to Alex or are managing a team of people like Alex, learning to suffer effectively — that is, embracing and managing discomfort in a healthy way — can transform workplace challenges into opportunities for growth and resilience.
Adapting to Change in the Workplace
Change often triggers a range of emotions, from anxiety and fear to excitement and hope. Here are some strategies to help you navigate the more difficult emotions and adapt to change more effectively:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in dealing with change is to acknowledge your feelings. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Part of acknowledging each one is expanding your emotional vocabulary and learning the difference between faux feelings and real emotions (eg. unappreciated vs. embarrassed, angry, and resentful).
One of my favorite sayings is to “feel what you feel when you feel it, just don’t unpack and live there”. Recognizing and accepting your emotions can prevent them from becoming overwhelming and help you address each one constructively.
2. Maintain a (Genuine, not Toxic) Positive Attitude
While it’s important to acknowledge negative emotions and give them space, focus on solutions rather than problems. Look for opportunities that the change might bring, such as learning new skills or potential career advancements. Embracing a positive attitude can enhance productivity (what can you accomplish?), improve workplace relationships (how can my experience help others?), and create a more fulfilling work experience (how are you using your strengths and skills regularly?) without falling into the trap of toxic positivity.
3. Stay Flexible and Curious
Flexibility is key to adapting to change. This doesn’t mean you don’t ask questions or advocate for your needs. It means being open to new ideas and different ways of doing things, being patient and kind while new things unfold, and being willing to experiment (think, fail forward!). This mindset will help you navigate transitions more smoothly and demonstrate your adaptability to others.
4. Seek Support & Practice Self-Compassion
Don’t hesitate to seek support from colleagues, mentors, or even professional counselors. Sharing your experiences and concerns with others can provide you with different perspectives and coping strategies. Along the way, be kind to yourself. Remember, suffering is a normal part of life.
5. Set Realistic Goals
During times of change, setting realistic and achievable goals that align with your values and long-term desires can provide a sense of direction and control. Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way!
→ I created the #GoalFish journal if you want guidance on setting SMART goals, improved personal accountability, and a safe place for reflection.
Enhancing Emotional Intelligence for Better Workplace Success
Emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient or EQ, is the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions in positive ways that improve health, performance, connection, and… you guessed it… suffering. High EQ is crucial for navigating the complexities of change and building strong relationships with others. Here are some ways to enhance your emotional intelligence:
1. Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Take time to reflect on your emotions and understand how they affect your thoughts and behavior. Practicing mindfulness and journaling can help increase self-awareness.
2. Self-Regulation
Once you’re aware of your emotions, the next step is learning to regulate them. This involves managing your reactions and staying calm under pressure. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and taking breaks can help you maintain control.
3. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Practice active listening and try to see situations from your colleagues’, customers’, and/or company’s perspectives. This will help you build stronger, more empathetic relationships.
4. Motivation
A key component of emotional intelligence is self-motivation. Stay driven by setting personal and professional goals that align with your values and passions. To align your motivation with your goals during a challenging time at work, do a quick audit by writing down the answers to the following questions:
- What are my top three core values?
- What is going well at work? What do I like most? What do I hope continues?
- What is not going well? What is causing me to suffer?
- Envision your dream job. What are you doing? What is so great about it?
- Now, does #3 conflict with #1? Are #3 deal breakers?
- Can you get some version of #4 by staying the course?
- Is #2 enough to motivate you for the challenges ahead?
What are you willing to suffer for?
Assess your needs, take action accordingly, and know that motivated individuals are often more resilient and better equipped to handle change.
What would you have to change in order to feel more motivated, engaged, enthusiastic, and/or fulfilled?
Putting It All Together
Alex is working on embracing their emotions and being flexible. Staying positive, seeking support, and setting realistic goals are also techniques that I recommended to them.
Suffering can either be a catalyst for growth and improvement or an anchor to pain and problems— but only you can decide that for yourself. Learning to suffer effectively is about embracing change. By adapting to change in the workplace and enhancing your emotional intelligence, you can transform challenges into opportunities for personal and professional development.
I encourage everyone to work on self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and motivation — even when you are not suffering. These are not easy skills or stable personality traits. They require regular attention and effort.
By putting in the work, you’ll be able to suffer more effectively. In the end, suffering effectively doesn’t mean avoiding discomfort but rather managing it in a way that leads to resilience and finding joy again. We all deserve to find joy where we can. ❤
Want more?
🎙️Listen to the Podgecast collaboration on this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB3aGaJLY_0
🤩 See some of my other posts for more encouragement and ideas on topics like facing fears, trying new things, Prospect Theory & change, moving beyond burnout, and more!
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